The sex life of a couple which has been together for many years can get boring during the marriage. This, however, should not be the case. As the years’ pass, you get older and closer with your partner, and the intimacy between you tow should also get better. Sex can become very fulfilling and satisfactory because you and your partner are already familiar with the likes, dislikes, preferences, and behavioral habits of one another.
The early days of a romantic relationship are very interesting, both partners are magnetically attracted to each other, and they can’t keep hands off each other. The conversations and talks are stimulating and more endearing compared to when the relationship is a couple of years old. In a long-term relationship, it is ubiquitous for the attraction between partners to depreciate. This can massively impact the sex life of the couple, and if it is not paid attention to, it can affect the relationship in general.
Married or long-term couples tend to have less sex and less intimacy between them, according to a study conducted. As the couple grows, life gets in the way, and responsibilities increase. The sexual intimacy between a married or a long-term couple is also caused by satiation. Satiation is an idea that stimulus gets less enticing the more you are exposed to it. This means that at times in a relationship, sex can become very monotonous, and the couple becomes less interested in intimacy as they once were. It is also probable that sexual intimacy gets affected when it becomes something you have to do as it drains your energy and makes you feel tired of sex. When this keeps happening, the sexual intimacy between a long-term couple is affected, and the spark no longer exists.
At the beginning of a relationship, the intimacy between the couple is very strong. The couple experiences feelings of closeness and love, and they tend to have regular and a lot of sex. As years pass and the relationship advances to a marriage, the couple starts a family and have kids. The natural progression of the relationship over time is bound to affect the sexual intimacy between a long-term relationship or a married couple. At times you may find yourself or your partner staying up late on social media or pretending to be asleep to avoid having sex, which is a cry for help in the intimacy of the couple. Many people struggle with this decrease in sex drive at a point in the relationship or marriage.
Having children affects the intimacy of a couple a great deal because of all the exhaustion and lack of private time that comes with it. It is at this point when the sexual intimacy of a couple begins to deteriorate, and if something is not done, it may never recover.
In any relationship, it is common for conflict to arise, especially between couples who have been together for long. Relationship conflicts can occur as a result of finances, children, infidelity, household responsibilities, personal careers, and also decisions regarding parenting. If these conflicts are ignored and left unattended, they can bring about feelings of resentment and dislike between the couple. These conflicts need to be worked out and resolved in a very fair and respectable manner to avoid either partner feeling unfairly treated. When there is unresolved resentment between a couple, they start getting distant from each other and being angry over very petty issues. This translates to a decreased attraction for each other, and once the couple stops interacting as romantic partners, then the sex life gets affected.
As the relationship advances, each partner begins to have new and more important things they need to focus their attention on. After the couple has kids, the priorities shift from each other to the kids. They prioritize raising the kids and being there for them more. The responsibilities of the household also tend to increase, and as more attention is paid to keep things in order at home, the relationship suffers.
The careers of both partners also affect sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship. As the family continues to grow, the careers of both partners also do. At times there are changes in careers, juggling careers, promotions at the job, and even the changes in job location, which all affect the relationship in one way or another. When working to build a career, either partner may neglect the other and focus more on the profession, which only makes the relationship and sexual intimacy between the couple weaker by the day. When partners stop being intentional about connecting as they are during the start of the relationship, then the sex life is bound to suffer.
When people have been living together for a long time, they can get and feel bored with each other. When the partners become too comfortable with each other, the relationship can become a bit stale and predictable, making it boring. When things feel too familiar, as human beings, it is evident that impacts negatively and affects attraction towards your partner. Human beings are wired to like and crave novelty, and when it lacks in a relationship, then things start falling apart.
In a relationship that lacks sexual intimacy, couples may be tempted to increase their sexual activity as a way of bringing back intimacy. You may want to have sex more regularly to avoid losing the sexual connection with your partner. This, however, does not guarantee that the intimacy between the couple is going to be restored. More sex does not guarantee a more robust relationship; quality sex does. You should also stop worrying about orgasms as most couples have sex with the aim of reaching orgasm rather than enjoying the moment. Sex can be as simple as a make-out session, or a massage, or simply taking a shower together. It does not have to be very complicated and filled with ultimatums, as long as both of you have fun in each other’s company.
When people are in a relationship for a long time, priorities shift, and the relationship and sex life can suffer a lot as a result of neglect. It is encouraged to set time apart and spend it with your partner without any distractions or other people getting in the way. When you have some alone time with your partner, you make the bond between you two stronger, and ultimately your sex life is improved. It is essential to prioritize alone time and avoid making excuses or commitments at a time when you should be alone with your partner. You can go for date nights or take evening walks, as long as you do it together and without interference, then it will definitely work. You can also use your alone time and go on a road trip or a leisurely drive while listening to your favorite music to help you get in the mood. A weekend or week’s trip or romantic getaway is also a good idea for spending alone time together and keep the magic alive.
In a long-term relationship or marriage, things in the bedroom might get boring, especially if there has been a shift in priorities over time. Once in a while, it is crucial to find new ways to spark up the flame and get your sex drive high again. Depending on your preferences and your partner’s, find a way to make things interesting in the bedroom by finding ways to look and feel sexy. Feeling sexy is bound to boost your libido and ultimately get your partner in the mood. Different people have different ideas of what is sexy, so you need to find that thing that makes you feel sensual and do it. It can be role-playing, wearing sexy lingerie, talking provocatively with your partner, reading romance erotica, or even getting bendy when doing yoga. The important thing is to pay attention to what works for both of you.
Communication is critical for any relationship to work, and a marriage is no exception. When there is excellent and open communication between the partners, the relationship, and overall sex life improves. Poor or no communication can lead to dissatisfaction with either partner and, ultimately, it causes feelings of resentment. Either partner ends up feeling unloved and unwanted, and this affects the sex life and the relationship in general. After a long day at work, have some time to talk and chat with your partner about things that will make you relaxed and happy. Talk to each other about your innermost feelings and thoughts to understand each other better and to establish a deeper sexual intimacy and connection with each other. Sexual intimacy is a continuous process of discovering yourself and knowing your partner more, and once communication is employed, the sex becomes very satisfying.
Too many times, the reason sexual intimacy deteriorates in a long-term relationship is that the couple doesn’t make any effort. At times you get home feeling exhausted and head straight to bed and other times fake to be sleepy to get out of having sex. When you keep telling your partner that you are tired, or that it is not a good time, it is definitely going to affect the intimacy and sex drive in the relationship. It is vital to make an effort to have sex regularly, even if it is not perfect, as this will keep your sex life active and more satisfying. If your partner attempts to initiate a sexual encounter, make an effort ad play along to create the mood instead of always trying to get out of it.
When partners in a relationship don’t talk and open up to one another about their wants and expectations, then there is no way to know how to please one another. It is crucial for a couple to share tactfully and sensitively their expectations regarding lovemaking as well as their desires. When the sexual desires are false or unmet, the sexual intimacy is affected, which is why it is essential to share them to avoid feeling disappointed or frustrated when you should be feeling good and closer with your partner. When this is done, sex becomes a means to deepening a long-lasting relationship and also a rich experience for the couple. There will always be the wonder and awe of mutual desire and attraction in the relationship, no matter how long it lasts.
In a relationship, it is very important to identify and understand the sexual needs of each other to keep intimacy healthy. Unlike men, who are easy to get aroused, women take a more gradual process for them to feel complete desire. For a woman to be excited, she has to explore and feel the connection between her and her partner, and she has to feel relaxed and comfortable. It is essential to identify what makes you and your woman feel like having sex and prioritize it. Some women feel sexually ready after they have a nice dinner out; others will prefer a glass of wine to get them in the mood, and others will prefer pillow talk. It is the role of both partners to identify these needs and maximize them for the sake of keeping the sexual intimacy and bond strong. This can be done by tapping into your own desires and understanding what you like on a deeper level. This can be inclusive of fantasies and other desires, which you should share with your partner to help understand you better.
When people have been married for a long time, they begin to get overwhelmed by their duties and responsibilities. Finding time between exhausting tasks can be very difficult and even frustrating, which is why you shouldn’t treat your sexual life as another chore you have to finish. When you treat sex as a chore, it becomes another item on your to-do-list, and once that happens, the desire minimizes because it will always feel like a burden or a task that requires to be finished rather than something to enjoy and help you relax after a long day. It is thus advisable to make time for your sex life while keeping it very spontaneity so that it doesn’t end up feeling like a task that needs to be completed. Sex should be taken as a way to connect with your partner. It should be a way to have some peace of mind rather than a duty or task that has to be done. This way, you end up enjoying it and wanting it more than when you do it out of obligation.
For you to have a satisfying sex life, especially after being married for years, you have to accept that it will not always be perfect. As years pass by, some things are bound to change, and it is 3 important to go along with the change. Your sex life during courtship and marriage can be different, and that is okay. It does not have to be perfect or to be the same as it was years ago; as long as it serves its purpose and brings the two of you together, then it is good enough. You can try to spice things up a bit by trying out new things to see your partner in a new context. This can help rekindle the romance and foster a more profound attraction with each other.
Scheduling activities ensures that you don’t forget them. Just like you schedule your children’s playdates, doctor’s appointments, and your meetings, it is also advisable to schedule when to have sex. Couples who have passionless marriages and relationships are encouraged to schedule when to have sex by deciding on the time and planning out the details of their sexual encounter. For you to have quality intimacy with your partner, it is vital to have a foresight and plan ahead, taking into account each other’s needs and preferences. Some couples create sex menus, and they can choose what they are comfortable with depending on their mood and interests of the specific days. Sex should be exciting and enjoyable for both parties. Take time to talk to your partner about your fantasies and practice self-disclosure. When planning and scheduling sex, let your partner know what you like, your fantasies and let them do the same. This builds an extreme sense of connection between the couple regardless of how long they have been together, and in turn, it boosts their deeper intimacy improving their sex life.
Exercise is very vital in boosting your sex life, as it is said, couples who play together stay together. Exercise is very instrumental in boosting the physical health of a person, and it can lead to more magnificent sex. When you have spontaneous sexual encounters during a workout, it will most definitely add to your sexual pleasure, especially because, as you exercise, you get a chance to be playful with each other. Exercise can also be in the form of a walk at the beach or a scheduled fun activity. Taking such walks or engaging in such activities with your partner guarantees an improvement in communication between you two. It is an excellent way to strengthen your connection outside the house. Open and excellent communication is a catalyst for satisfying sex life and, ultimately, a successful and happy relationship or marriage. Exercise also acts as a way to boost self-confidence, and once you feel confident about yourself and your body, it will be easier to express yourself and your desires better in the bedroom.
At times the pressure from both work and family can get in the way of healthy and satisfying sex life. In order to have and maintain a healthy sex life, it is essential to distinguish between the bedroom and other places. This means that you have to keep your work and stress out of the bedroom. Issues regarding finances, kids, careers, and pets can easily lead to disagreements, which is why they should be avoided at all costs in the bedroom. These issues can easily put a damper on your libido, and so they should completely be kept out of the bedroom. When together in bed, aim your focus on each other and do not have pressures from other issues and people. Family and work obligations can often get between a couple’s sexual encounters and thus hinder a fulfilling sex drive. At times there are conflicts amongst the family members, which can also strain the relationship and affect the sex life if they are allowed in the bedroom. It is important to avoid discussing issues about other family members or parents in the bedroom as they can bring negativity, thus derailing the sex life.
You don’t always have to wait for your partner to initiate a sexual encounter than go along with it. At times, it can spark things up a bit if you take charge and initiate the sexual encounter. It makes your partner feel wanted, and that arouses them, which is what makes the sex drive high between you two. Find that thing that arouses your partner and do it impromptu. If your partner likes to be kissed on the neck or to be hugged from behind, then do that without necessarily asking. If they go along with it, that means that they want you too, and that’s all you need. Both partners are responsible for an intimate and successful relationship, and so both should take the initiative instead of waiting for the other to do so. Hold hands to show affection as you take a walk, go for date nights often, and participate in other novel activities together to create the spark between you two. You can do what feels good for you, even if it does not end in sexual intercourse, as long as it makes you feel close and connected to your partner.
In a long-term relationship or marriage, people tend to get too comfortable with each other and end up forgetting the importance of taking care of themselves. There is always something that requires more attention and priority than taking care of yourselves and the relationship, especially with a shift in priorities. For a couple to improve and maintain a healthy sex life, it is crucial for them to create time for self-care and not to let other responsibilities get in the way. When you look good, you feel good about yourself, and it has an impact on how your partner perceives you as well. On the same note, when you take time to look good for your partner, they mostly reciprocate it, and both of you can enjoy each other’s company better.
Often times, partners in a relationship assume things and jump into conclusions without consulting each other. In order to have a healthy sex life, it is important to talk to your partner about his or her sexual needs and desires instead of just assuming that they are not interested in sex. According to some therapists, most couples are over the honeymoon phase two years after they get married, and things start to become a bit ordinary. Talking to your partner about his or your sex needs is a good step to reigniting the sexual romance and intimacy flame between each other, which ultimately results in better sex life. It is also important for the couple to acknowledge any underlying feelings of resentment that they may hold against each other. These feelings of resentment that are related to intimacy can lead to more serious issues in the relationship. If your partner keeps declining any attempts you make to have sex, then take the initiative to bring back the intimacy that you shared. Have a sit down with your partner about any issues there may be, however minor instead of just assuming that they are not interested in you or in sex.
Maintaining the health of a relationship is very important. When you become too comfortable and complacent with each other, the sex life of your relationship is affected, and the fire stops burning as strong as it used to. This does not mean that you let the fire dim out completely. In addition to the tips mentioned above, how you go about your day greatly influences how things are going to be in the bedroom when you get home to each other. The following tips are effective in keeping the spark alive for when you get home to your partner at the end of the day;
Often at times, people get too engrossed in their jobs and other daytime activities that they completely neglect their partners. Having a healthy relationship means you communicate with each other as much as you can. Take time to call your partner during the day and check on them; this shows that despite everything going on, you are thinking about them, and it makes them feel important. If you have some time to spare, you can flirt with your partner to build up the anticipation for the evening. You can also share pictures with each other and share calendars and to-do lists. This ensures that the emotional connection between you two is maintained and even enhanced.
If you are spending the day in the house together, you can leave your partner sweet reminders such as “I love you” and” I want you” notes in different locations in the house. These surprise reminders will definitely spark some emotion in your partner, and even if you are having an ordinary day, it is a step to spicing things up a bit. You can put the notes in your partner’s wallet or by the bathroom sink or even on the windshield of the car. If time allows, make your partner’s favorite meal once in a while and surprise them with it after a long day at work. If your wife makes such an effort, you can reciprocate it by coming home with her favorite flowers, even if you are not celebrating anything.
When your schedules become just about working and coming home for dinner and sleep, your sex life is meant to be affected. Often times, it is advisable to make an effort to look good for your partner. If you are staying in, get out of the comfort zone and dress up, look sexy for him, and he will definitely appreciate the effort. It is very comfortable staying in with yoga pants, sweat pants, and t-shirts, especially when in a long-term marriage, but once in a while, make some changes. Remember how things were when you started dating, how you used to dree up for each other even when you were having dinner at home.
The initial part of any relationship is filled with sweet messages and phone calls, which make you swoon. This kind of romance should be carried forward even in marriages. Complement your partner often and let them know that you find them very attractive. Let your partner know how much you care and don’t give them any space to feel unloved or unappreciated.
Most couples tend to lose the spark in their sex life when they allow things changing and happening in their life affect their relationship. As years go by, it is definite that finances, kids, chores, and work, among other factors, can really affect the intimacy and romance between a married couple. These factors interfere with the sex drive between the couple as well as the time required to put the effort.
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