I always have a hard time articulately expressing myself in English. I always find myself missing the words needed to complete my sentences and paragraphs. One moment, in particular, I recall was when I was trying to complete my assignment in the library. I had to locate the dictionary and several other vocabulary guidebooks to complete the task. After leaving the library, I went looking for one of my tutors to explain to them my frustrations at how elusive the sentence structure is for me. We had a long discussion where he asked me to be patient because the English language is complicated even to the ENL speakers.
Looking back at the whole incident, I came to realize that I was too hard on myself. This was because I had unrealistic expectations about how quickly I would master the English language. The assignment was more challenging than I expected, and that demotivated me. That initial feeling of demotivation then started to breed a negative attitude that made the task seem impossible. This feeling made me seek help from my tutors on what needed to be done.
The fact that I doubted my ability was a bad thing. However, it led to a good thing, which was seeking help from my tutors. Speaking with my tutors had a positive contribution because it helped me realize that I needed to put more effort to possess good command over the English Language. I should have allocated more time for the assignment to avoid unnecessary pressure on myself.
The reason I was unable to complete my assignment was that I had not completely understood some grammar basics. This moment made me acknowledge the importance of small wins leading up to a big win. I will have to master English one assignment at a time. The conversation with my tutors helped me shift my focus from how far I still go to how far I have come. I realized that the English 100 class had been much more beneficial than I thought. I have learned a lot of different skills in writing and received several commendations from my classmates. I noted that I had already managed to catch specific errors that many ESL speakers could not notice.
I realized that moving forward; I needed to spend more time on my assignments. I need to break down my tasks into small manageable chunks to avoid the bulkiness of the assignment intimidating me. Furthermore, I need to start doing short recap sessions before starting assignments, which will serve as a warm-up for the primary test. I also need to realize that mastering English will take a bit more effort and time than expected. Moreover, I need to look at how far I have come any time I have doubts.
If I ever found myself in such a situation with a challenging assignment, then I would first do a quick recap of the things I have leant thus far. This will serve the purpose of reminding me of my potential and jogging my memory. Such an activity before any assignment moving forward will reduce the likelihood of having a hard time finding the words or sentences to make it fit in the paragraph.
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